Blog Name: The G Word

People often ask me, “Gordon, what the fuck are you doing hanging out with the Beckhams?”

“Is it a swinging thing?” they ask.

As if. Even David tries to get out of that one these days. Christ, have you seen her; she’s like a shaved whippet.

The truth is I can’t fucking stand the pair of them, but I had to do something to up the profile ever since Jamie used the C word on telly. Why the fuck did I not think of that? So fucking obvious. Devious Mockney bastard. I could lose everything; the book sales, the telly programmes, the restaurants. Everything.

The classic Ramsay effin and jeffin wasn’t cutting the ice it used to.

What could I do since he’d used a c*nt?

Well the answer’s obvious, isn’t it?

Use two.

Oh shut up, I don’t give a fuck if this blog’s anonymous.