Prime Minister's Question Time

I know that many of you have questions about the challenges facing us all. In this blog, therefore, I hope to answer some of those questions using every day terms that fully relate to and are born from the lives, and aspirations, of you, the people.

Alan, in South Wales, asks: Do you think we should nationalise all our banks?

Well boyo, look you, see this is a bit of a tricky one, like growing leeks, isn't it? You plant the buggers and let all that lovely rain soak them right through, look you, then before you can say Max Boyce, the bloody green fly have got 'em. Never mind eh, not while we got the telly and bit of rugby, isn't it?

June, in Birmingham, asks: Is the Government planning to cut public spending?

Bit of a tricky one, that. By rights we should be saving a few bob, y'know like a couple of quid every now and then, y'know, but thing is, we're all a bit strapped at the mo', so really it's, like, anybody's guess. Really.

Toby, in London, asks: How will the recession affect the plans for the Olympics?

Listen mate, we ain't gonna let a few fackin quid stop the party, never mind what those bleeding wankers in the City are saying. We're gonna have the biggest knees-up ever, strike me dead if we aint, and if some toffy-nosed barstard tries to get in the fackin way I'll have his knee caps.

Susan, in Glasgow, asks: What about Scotland's plans for independance?

Och, well, the noo, that's a bonnie wee question, and I think we all ken the answer there, lassie. Aye, let's not forget that many a mickle mucks a mackerel. The noo.

Alex, in Belfast, asks: Perhaps we should adopt the Euro currency now?

Bejaasus, and that's a fine question, to be sure, to be sure. Did i tell you the one about the two Irish men outside the job centre? Paddy says to Murphy, "Would you look at that, typical of our luck, they want tree fellers and there's only two of us." To be sure.

Norman, Vice President of the Lesbian and Gay Outreach Committee, asks: When will interest rates begin to rise again?

Ooh, i say, what a big question that is. I don't think i've ever been probed like that before, ooo-err. Still i'll do me best, i mean, you know i'll bend over backwards for anyone, dear. Now just give me a minute while me nail varnish dries.


Well, hopefully this answers a few of the questions that I know you all have. Should there be more, please send them to me, C/O Downing Street or via this blog. You can, of course, remain anonymous. I know that I certainly intend to.