Blog Name: Harry Potter

Found another pimple yesterday, SOD IT. So much for Hermione's pimple-zapper potion, I might as well have washed my shoes with it.

Thoughts of the Dark Lord have been preying on my mind. No one else UNDERSTANDS what is going on in my head. I wrote a poem about it:

I am alone in a black room
the Dark Lord fills me full of gloom
He is evil personified
Like the very best food, badly fried.

I think that says it all. He (the Dark Lord) is just like a good meal - pizza or something - which has been RUINED. I mean, if you fried a pizza, that would ruin it, right? Which is what happened to Him. I mean, he started off good, like a raw pizza, but it all went wrong. It's like someone sprinkled him with really nice stuff, like ham and pineapple chunks, then fried it. I mean Him.

I tried explaining this to Ron. As usual, Ron didn't have a clue as to what I was talking about. He just said I was talking bollocks. He doesn't understand me. No one does.

Ginny is ignoring me at the moment which is SO UNFAIR. Just because I drew a willy on her "Necromancy for Dummies" book. I mean, that was MONTHS ago and she only just found it so that shows how much she reads her text books, I think. Hermione says I should apologise and I said why should I, as willys go it's a pretty good likeness and she said how would you know, are you gay or something, so now I'M not talking to HER.

Ron wasn't talking to anyone last week, but that's because a bludger whacked him in the gob and knocked all his teeth out. He had to sleep with his head in a bag of bone-gro powder which meant he was in a stinker of a mood and tried to punch me when I called him "Gappy".

Had a fight with Malfoy in the Quad, actually. It was cool, I got him in a head-lock and stuffed mud down his shirt. He elbowed me in the ribs and whacked me and gave me a black eye. Then Hermione kicked him in the nadgers and we ran for it. I like Hermione, she's well cool and she's got LETHAL boots. I just wish she'd stop going all soppy over Ron, I mean, he's a great bloke and he can make fart noises under his armpit but WHY doesn't she get herself a pet hamster or something?

Well, best not advertise this blog around the school, if that loser Snape found out I'd be in trouble AGAIN which is NOT FAIR. He is such a LOSER he floats around the place like a bad SMELL and Ron says he's only miserable all the time because he's constipated which explains that look on his face so why doesn't he drink some liquid dynamite potion and SORT IT OUT.