Blog Name: David Brent's Faith

Another day here at Wernham-Hogg. We do paper. That's what I like to say to my staff. It's punchy, like the stuff they say in films, like "Lock and load". That sounds good. No one knows what that means but it sounds good.

I'm not a sound bite person though, I mean, that's shallow. I'm more of a profound person. If I were to say to my staff "Right, let's lock and load!" Then I would have to follow that up. Yesterday I told Gareth that life is like a donut, which he responded to. No need to follow up, he understood my meaning. There was a moment between us, like two minds, coming together. Not that we're close, you know, in that way. Strictly professional.

Being profound can be hard work, though. When I go amongst my staff I can see on their faces that they're expecting wisdom and understanding, possibly rounded off with a belly laugh. Depends on how much time I've got. My presence amongst them is a bit like Jesus amongst his disciples. He was a carpenter so he was used to dealing with wood. Then he became a shepherd. That shows versatility. After that, he was a fisherman. Had he lived, he probably would have gone into textiles.

I often think about religion when I'm alone, in those private moments. When I have to tackle the big issues, I ask myself, 'Shall I turn away? Shall I shirk my responsibilities?' No, is the answer. John the Baptist never gave up, even as he led the people to freedom. Did he say, 'Oh, look, a big river, we'll never cross that, best turn around lads and go home again.' No, he built the ark and over they went.

If I had to sum up my faith, I would say 'I believe in a world where everyone is equal.' That's it. Equality. Even for foreigners and disabled people. I mean, just because you're in a wheelchair, that's no excuse to sit back and take it easy. I mean, I could sit in a wheelchair and get Gareth to push me round all day, but I wouldn't, and not just because other people might think we're gay, like a kind of gay couple, one of whom happens to be in a wheelchair. No, I wouldn't do that because I am equal. So I should be up and about, not loafing around.

I often say to people, 'Look up there and what do you see?' This works much better outside, otherwise you get the idiots saying 'Oh, light fittings', or maybe 'Oh, ceiling tiles,' like I've never heard that joke before. The answer should be 'Oh, the stars.' Well, exactly. If it's after sunset and it's not cloudy. You really do need to pick your moment with this one.

Anyway, enough blogging, enough 'technology'. There are problems to be solved, people needing guidance and, like the Good Lord, I only have my two hands. But then, I need nothing more. I can only be grateful that these two hands are capable of bringing me so much fulfilment.

Best keep this anonymous though. If those creeps in the computer section got hold of it they'd probably post it on you tube, like they did with that video of Gareth dressed as Rambo. You can't trust anyone these days.